They Had Me in Stitches

The morning sun came flooding through the bedroom window, a Saturday morning, my favorite morning... usually this would put in me in a pretty happy place.  I was having a hard time for some reason, I woke up feeling pretty blue and could not shake it.  Blue, blue, blue...so many shades of blue, clouding my day.   

"Snap out of it!" I said to myself.  So I made some French toast, even though I didn't much feel like it.  The maple syrup tasted so good.  I put on some sneaks and went for a walk, even though I didn't have much energy.  The sun felt so warm, the air so refreshing.  I did a little yoga, even though my bones were aching.  My body felt so much better.  The blueness was fading.  Lighter, and lighter.  Pale, misty blue.

Then my family came over.  My parents, the dog, my husband's parents, his sister, his brother, his brother's wife, his little sister...they all just showed up.  It wasn't really planned... we made dinner, we talked, we ate, we laughed, we watched a movie, we had crumb cake, they told me my new hair was pretty... before I knew it, the blue was a happy sky blue.  Wedding dress blue.  And as the sun went down... there was purple, and pink, and yellow, and orange. Lovely perfect orange.  We laughed for hours.  They had me in stitches... and I forgot about the sad shades of blue that had earlier clouded my day.

Blue can certainly be a happy color... if we know where to look.

love, e

Forgot to call my Aunt..

Happy Birthday Auntie Di!  Miss You!

Unfinished Art... no...Happiness in Progress...

Picked up a few unfinished, i mean in-progress canvases this week and finally just let them become what they would.  Nothing totally finished yet, but definitely making progress.  For this particular piece, I am given away by the sunshine and greenery in the photo, since here in Connecticut we are now well covered by months of dirty snow.  Still working on it.

It's never easy getting myself started though - as in getting the water in the bowl and the paint on the brush.  It's as if I need to become accountable for "showing up" to my studio, as if it were one of my jobs.  I mean, I have never just not shown up for work - yuck - cubicles, deadlines, dress pants, rules... why was I so good at showing up for these drudgeries?  Why, when all I have is time right now, when I know how happy it makes me feel, when I can wear whatever I want all day, do I find it so hard some days to show up to my studio??? - it's next to my kitchen for heaven's sake, it is the sunniest room in the house and it is filled with all my favorite colors and my most precious things.  My therapist might say I am afraid to succeed or something along those lines...

Anyway, I made some progress by actually showing up this week and man... did I feel HAPPY when I was in there!  Breast cancer?  What breast cancer?  I can tell you that when I'm in that place, I forget about everything difficult, negative and painful, and I only feel happy, alive, and free.  Creating heals me.  As does dancing.  As does my cat.   Everyone needs something like that in there life, whether it's painting or fly fishing... I hope you all find that thing that heals you. 

I plan to actually finish a few pieces soon, which will require me to somehow find the balance of treating it like a job without compromising the joy I feel as it's happening.  It will require me to "show up".

Love, e