It's never easy getting myself started though - as in getting the water in the bowl and the paint on the brush. It's as if I need to become accountable for "showing up" to my studio, as if it were one of my jobs. I mean, I have never just not shown up for work - yuck - cubicles, deadlines, dress pants, rules... why was I so good at showing up for these drudgeries? Why, when all I have is time right now, when I know how happy it makes me feel, when I can wear whatever I want all day, do I find it so hard some days to show up to my studio??? - it's next to my kitchen for heaven's sake, it is the sunniest room in the house and it is filled with all my favorite colors and my most precious things. My therapist might say I am afraid to succeed or something along those lines...
Anyway, I made some progress by actually showing up this week and man... did I feel HAPPY when I was in there! Breast cancer? What breast cancer? I can tell you that when I'm in that place, I forget about everything difficult, negative and painful, and I only feel happy, alive, and free. Creating heals me. As does dancing. As does my cat. Everyone needs something like that in there life, whether it's painting or fly fishing... I hope you all find that thing that heals you.
I plan to actually finish a few pieces soon, which will require me to somehow find the balance of treating it like a job without compromising the joy I feel as it's happening. It will require me to "show up".